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ART

Greg stares at modern art trying to feel something yet he feels nothing. This must be because he himself is not a modern artist. He tries real hard and focuses his mind yet this picture of a penis wearing a cowboy hat really does nothing for his emotional state. He looks to Judy crying next to him. She stares at this penis wearing a cowboy hat and doesn’t feel nothing, but everything. Every pain, every sadness, and every beautiful penis she has seen wearing a cowboy hat and she knows it is okay to cry. She knows she is not foolish for crying. This is why she is able to ignore Jeff who sits across the gallery laughing at her, bored to death with art because art sucks. Why would anyone like art, except queers. Jeff now knows why queers like art. They want to come and look at penises wearing cowboy hats and laugh because they get the joke because they like penis. Yea that is totally why queers like art. He grimaces at the queer Patrick, who is explaining to Paula why this picture of Penis wearing a cowboy hat is art. He explains, although he knows she could never understand it, despite the fact she is nodding her simpleminded Hollister and Fitch plagued head of hers. She could never know why this is art, but he will explain it anyway, because it is his duty as an artist, and a queer, to spread the true beauty of art to all who are open to listen, or not open, they should listen too; those ignorant imbeciles. Paula stands next to Patrick listening because she so very wants to understand art, because everyone else understands art and she can’t seem to understand what everyone else understands that which is completely lost on her. Plus she wants to understand the mysterious Caden, an artist, who isn’t here at the museum today, because he smoked too much pot this morning and missed the bus. He sits at home angry that he missed the one day were he could show off his genius, but he forgets this anger quickly as he laughs at the hilarity of Sponge Bob Square Pants. The museum employee, pissed at all the students for getting to still be in school, where you have friends, and youth, and where you go on field trips to look at pictures of penises wearing cowboy hats, stands angrily attending the velvet rope. The artist, Jacques, stands off in a corner counting his earnings silently laughing at all the people here today to look at his penis wearing a cowboy hat.